Second chances…

Have you ever wished, more than anything, that you could have a second chance?  A chance to make something right, to take back a harsh word, to undo a hurt that devastated a loved one.  Sad thing is that do-overs are impossible.  We can’t move back in time and take it back.  I found an awesome quote this morning, the author is unknown but here it is…

You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second. Use it wisely.

The only way you can make a wrong right is to apologize, make amends and do everything in your power not to do it again.  Put a stop to the behavior that causes pain to others.  Think before you speak.  Ensure your actions are pure of heart and full of love.  Communicate honestly and often.  You can make your second chance happen and in the process, possibly make it better than it was before.

I have such a hard time trying to understand why people intentionally inflict pain on each other.  I guess it’s the same as trying to understand why we don’t have world peace.  I know that I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell to solve the world peace issue.  I just want to solve it on a personal basis.  I want to understand why it’s so hard to have control over your actions, why a person has to be so careless with their words and actions.  Especially to the people they love.  I see it all around me and I feel that it’s so needless.  People have a need for validation, especially in their anger.  Words said out of anger feel justified, we need the release to make ourselves feel better.  But do we realize the poison that spews from our mouth and the damage it does?  Do we realize the toxicity of our actions?

I’ve written about the Golden Rule and what it means to me and it looks like I’m going to touch on it again.  I try to remain optimistic in the face of pessimism, positive when negativity surrounds me, victorious instead of defeated.  And I’m getting tired.  The battle continues and I wonder if I have the strength on carry on.  I must, as defeat is not an option.  I’m determined to lead a life filled with love, positivity, happiness and compassion.  This is the only legacy that I truly have to leave to my family and friends.  It is just my ego that wants it to be said after I die that I was a good person?  That my life was filled with love and happiness and that every life I touched was done with respect.  What is your legacy?  What will be said about you after you leave this world?

When you think about how you treat people and how you want to be treated, what comes to mind?  We all have the same basis desires…

To be treated with respect, dignity, honesty, compassion, thoughtfulness, trust and most of all love.

How hard is that to do?  It takes so much more effort to treat someone with disrespect, disdain, lies, inconsideration, mistrust and hatefulness.  Why can’t there be a five second delay between the brain and the mouth?  Why can’t people use a filter and why can’t they learn to control their anger?  Is it a matter of maturity?  Or is it a matter of “I just don’t give a damn”?

I’m not saying that I’m Ms. Perfect, sitting here innocent of any wrongdoing.  I know in the past I’ve thoughtlessly treated someone inconsiderately.  Didn’t take their feelings into consideration before I heedlessly inflicted my harsh words onto them.  My words were full of anger and they were born in protectiveness towards a loved one.  I felt then and still do that the words needed to be said but I didn’t take the time to say them with understanding and compassion.  It was too easy to let my emotions take the reins.  Yes, I apologized, several times, and yes, I wish I would have done it differently and yes, I wish I had a second chance to change how I said those words, and yes, I’m ashamed of my lack of control.  I’m human and I make mistakes, just like everyone else.  I also believe that I have the intelligence to learn from my mistakes and take care not to repeat them.  We also must learn the art of forgiveness, for our fellow human beings and ourselves.  True forgiveness, not the shallow kind that is quick to bring up past pain and injuries. 

So please, please read my words and take them to heart.  Learn to be a better person, learn to be compassionate, learn to treat others as you wish to be treated.  Slow down and think.  My heart breaks to see how carelessly we treat each other when all we need to do is think.  It’s so much easier in the long run to do this.  Making amends is not easy for some people, they think a simple “I’m sorry” will suffice but then continue to display the same behavior.  Stop making excuses and fix the pain and anger in your heart and there won’t be any left over to inflict on someone else. 

Remember on a daily basis that we are here for only a short time.  This time should be filled with love.  Love for our spouse, our children, our families and friends.  We weren’t meant to travel this road alone, but with companions to lean and depend on.  Make every effort to be strong and steadfast.  It’s never too late to change, and it’s never too late to have a second chance.  You have one every second.  You just have to reach out and take it.

Until next time, I’ll be learning to take that second chance and to use it wisely.

♥  Much love to you…  ♥


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2 Responses to Second chances…

  1. notquiteold says:

    my mother (also named Stephanie by the way) has lived her whole life the way you are trying to. She’s 87 now, and she’s been consistently positive, kind, happy, and loving. And just yesterday, after having dinner with her, my husband said on the way home, “Your mom must be the sweetest old lady in the world.” And she is. So keep trying.

    • Steffanie says:

      It’s wonderful to hear of the pride you have in your mother. I bet she is an awesome woman. I’ve been going through some tough personal situations of late and it’s been a struggle to remain positive at times. I have moments when I get pretty down but thankfully I’m able to bounce back fairly quick. Writing this blog has helped a lot and reading the comments that friends leave, makes me really smile! Thanks for being one!

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