Middle of the night musings

It came to me last night, while reliving a conversation in my head.  Maybe you’ve had one of those moments, deep in the middle of a dark night, all alone both physically and mentally, trying to figure out the meaning of your life.  Please bear with me while I ramble through my thoughts.  Pretty scary I admit but necessary at this point.

Ok… forget that.  I’ve been sitting here for over ten minutes, fingers posed on the keyboard and I can’t write it down.  I thought that I finally figured this crap out and now, when I want to vocalize it, it doesn’t want to be committed to paper.  Or is it that I’m just too frightened to have it out in the open.  Maybe the meaning of my life will never be known, for isn’t this a question man has been trying to answer since the beginning of time?  So instead I’m going to write about what I want (or is it need?) in my life.  I’ll lay money down that you want the same.  I do know that these things are nonnegotiable for me, as they should be for you too.

Love – said it before, say it again, I feel that this is the reason for me being on this earth.  (So is this the meaning of my life?)  My simple way of thinking.  If love wasn’t in my life, what would I have?  What would you have?  An empty lonely life.  Filled with piles of old magazines, TV blaring for company, shades drawn to keep the world at bay.  Not getting dressed for days, eating a bowl of cereal against the kitchen sink, dead plants dropping their leafs in the corner.  Love changes all that.  You live, you’re alive.  Find it, hold it close, don’t let go.

Give and take – a necessity in life and relationships.  Never, ever settle for one side of anything.  It’s the rhythm of life, the balance we desperately need.  It’s the black and white, in and out, yin and yang, the you and me.  Balance is a major part of the human need.  This starts with thoughtfulness and being aware that other people need the same as we do.  You give, they take, they give, you take.  It’s a two-way street.

Respect – who doesn’t want this?  Who doesn’t need this?  Respect you have for others, respect others have for you and self-respect.  Respect is vital.  It’s the validation that you are a good person, that you are considerate of others, that you are held in high regard, that you know yourself and like who you are.  You have to earn it, display it, keep your actions pure to retain it.  Another one of those two-way streets.

Recognition – hear me out on this one.  Don’t we all want recognition?  For our value to another, for deeds done, for our simple existence in the world.  Have you seen the movie Avatar?  The line “I see you” says it all.  That’s recognition, validation, affirmation.  I believe this is another vital piece in the puzzle for happiness.  We all want to be heard, be seen.  It gives meaning to our lives.  Name one person that doesn’t want to be “seen”.  Can’t be done.

Am I alone in wanting these things?  I bet not.  What do you find necessary to have in your life?  Is love not important but respect is?  Is there a combination that you can be happy with?  It’s a universal desire to be happy.  Can you be happy without the things I’ve listed?  I have found that I can’t.  I’m one of those greedy people who has to have it all.

Guess that’s it for now.  I probably haven’t made much sense this time around.  Rambling on and on with no direction.  It happens sometimes.  It helps me to write it down, gives me a new sense of my path.  I’m really fortunate to have so many people in my life that love me.  They mean the world to me… Phil, all the kids and grandkids, Mom and Dad, sister and brothers, my extended family, nieces and nephew, Cammy and John.  I’m so fortunate that all of you give me what I need to make me happy.  I love each of you so much and I’m so very grateful to have you in my life.  I hope I make you proud and that you will always think of me with love.

Steffanie

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