The single life…

After years of being part of a couple, living on your own means a whole new lifestyle for a woman. Things you used to either take for granted, or chores that the hubby did, are now your responsibility. Most of it is just plain common sense and some is stuff you might have never thought of. It’s really just a matter of learning new habits.

  • Lock the house up at night.  Don’t forget this one.  I did a couple of times because I wasn’t used to doing it.  I still get a cold sweat thinking about it.
  • Check the windows occasionally to make sure they’re locked.  Paranoia on my part.
  • Keep the garage door shut. I’m on the fence about keeping the car in the garage or in the driveway.  In the garage makes it look like no one is home but could it be stolen in the driveway?
  • Leave the porch light on at night.  To heck with the electric bill on this one.
  • Close blinds/curtains at night.  Duh…
  • Install deadbolts or chains if you don’t already have them.   Never can be too safe.
  • Keep a flashlight on the bedside table.  I have a heavy-duty one that could really hurt someone if I threw it at them.
  • Keep your phone fully charged and always know where it’s at.  This one really does make me feel safer.
  • Keep your keys and purse in the same place so you can grab them quickly.  Again… duh…
  • Don’t keep a house key under the door mat.  Give it to someone you trust that lives close.
  • Put the police, fire and ambulance on speed dial or at least in your contact list.
  • Keep shrubs cut below window height.  Don’t want to give anyone a place to hide while they’re breaking into your house.
  • Don’t forget to take the trash out.  Guilty…
  • Find a good lawn service.  Inside was my responsibility, outside was his. 
  • Install a security/fire system if you can afford it.
  • Learn auto care, when to have the oil changed, the tire rotated.  Find a reliable company and don’t take crap off them just cause you wear a dress.
  • Keep the gas tank in the car filled at least half way all the time.  Never give anyone the satisfaction of knowing you ran out of gas.
  • Keep the pantry well stocked so you won’t have to make several trips a week to the store.  Saves you some grief since you can’t send the hubby to the store anymore.
  • Be aware of your surrounding when coming home at night.  Just because the garage door is still shut doesn’t mean that someone can’t be in there.
  • Seriously consider taking self-defense courses.
  • Call the police department and tell them that you live alone and ask if they could do a drive by occasionally.  I did this and sure enough, they did and were really nice and concerned about me.
  • Get a bunch of the green LED night lights and plug them in all around the house.  Really makes a difference.
  • Consider getting a roommate.  I did and it made me feel more secure.
  • Find a male relative or friend that won’t mind coming over for the occasion things that you just aren’t comfortable doing.  Like changing a fuse out or fixing the leaky faucet.

If you’re just now getting on your own, keep in mind that all the insecurity you’re feeling without a man in the house, will fade eventually.  Once you get in the “man of the house” mode, your confidence level will rise.  Just be smart and be aware of what’s going on and you should be just fine.  You will eventually start seeing the advantages of living on your own.  (Maybe…. I’m still not there with this one.)  You will notice that you develop some bad habits too.  And from experience, I’ve learned that this is completely normal.  Just don’t let them linger too long before breaking them.

  • Don’t stop cooking for yourself.  A bowl of cold cereal while leaning on the counter is ok every once in a while but no more than twice a week.
  • Don’t isolate yourself.  Keep up friendships and make it a point to get out a couple of times a week.
  • Don’t let yourself get negative.  You might be hurt and lonely but it won’t last forever.
  • Sleep in your bed, not on the sofa.

Yeah, it’s tough… but you can do it and survive.  Keep your sense of humor handy and your family and friends even closer.  And I’m always here if you need me.

Peace, love and happiness…

Steffanie

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6 Responses to The single life…

  1. wherethedaytakesme says:

    Good advice.

  2. Hoo Sze Ling says:

    You know, I have this feeling that more awesome things are coming your way! 🙂

  3. Tina Avant says:

    Ummm…. Clearly I have been neglecting my Aunt Steff. If u want about a million other hints on this, just let me know, I’m well, well trained 😉

  4. Hollie McCoslin says:

    That really hit home. I do most of those things that apply to me!! It’s the things that you talked about at the end that I really seem to struggle with!

  5. Jennifer Dorsey Rogers says:

    Yep! Learned all of this while being a young college student without a man or my Dad close by. Watching a ton of Lifetime movies doesn’t hurt either… they always make me more aware and super paranoid!! Ha! Also, I think growing up as a latch key kid and then be married to a man who always worked into the wee hours of the morning has made me super independent and have “safety” awareness. Now… if only I would have listened when Wally tried to teach me to change my tire when I was a teenager… Oh well!!

  6. Troy says:

    Very well thought out and written.

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