It’s those times…

Sitting in a hospital chapel this morning, saying a silent prayer for a family member about to have open heart surgery and your mind wonders to “what if?”.  Its times like this that makes you question your entire life.  Am I going down the right path, have I made the right decisions, have I reached the goals I set, can I look back on my life and have no regrets?

I thought about those questions, talked about it openly and the answers I came up with satisfy me.  Hindsight is definitely 20/20… and yes, there are things I wish I could change.  Thankfully I can say I don’t have any great regrets.  My children are healthy, happy, and know how much I love them.  I might have, no… probably did, make mistakes while raising them them but they never lacked in love.  They always had a roof over their heads and food on the table.  They were never in “trouble” and have always made me so proud to be their mother.

I always thought that at this point in my life I would be settled down with a loving partner, sitting back watching the grandkids grow up and taking each day as a gift.  I would be traveling, seeing sights I’ve only dreamed of.  Striking the items off my bucket list at a frantic pace and dreaming up new things to do the next day.  Most of that is happening and the parts that aren’t… well… I’m working on it.

It’s those times when you look at your own mortality that you wonder if you should have done things differently.  Again, thankfully, I don’t think there’s much that I would change.  Each decision I’ve made in life had led me to where I am today.  I’m on the path that I was meant to be on.  I’m at peace with myself and that’s more than I can say about most people.  Some things haven’t turned out like I wanted or expected and in one way, that’s a good thing.  It just makes me more determined to work it out, to work my butt off to achieve what I truly want the rest of my life to be. 

It goes like this… two verses in a song…

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

and…

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime  

That might not make any sense to you but for me, its crystal clear…  My last words to you on this gray afternoon, take the shot, take the leap of faith, live it loud and live it strong.  This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.

Much love…

Steffanie

 

 

 

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This entry was posted in Just me, Random, in other words, nonsense and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to It’s those times…

  1. Anonymous says:

    Steffanie this is soooo true. Live each day to the fullest and with no regrets!

  2. Kevin Dill says:

    Very good post as this message was very clear. Thanks!

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